Jesse Hassenger

Jesse Hassenger
Jesse Hassenger's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): Filmcritic.com, PopMatters, AV Club, Time Out, Brooklyn Magazine, The Week

Movie Reviews Only

Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
B- 59% The Mule (2018) It finds Eastwood performing (both as actor and director) in two of his most comfortable modes: ambling low-key pulp and quiet regretful elegy.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Dec 12, 2018
C+ 62% Mary Queen of Scots (2018) Given the capable performances and a few memorable scenes, it's difficult to pinpoint why this handsome, competent production can't offer much more satisfaction...‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Dec 4, 2018
C- 16% The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018) Most of the movie's creepy overtures are bluntly obvious-menacing thumps, rather than barely perceptible twitches.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Nov 30, 2018
B+ 97% Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) This is the seventh Spider-Man feature film in 16 years, but this universe has rarely felt so fresh.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Nov 28, 2018
38% Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018) The Crimes of Grindelwald appears to be, first and foremost, made "for the fans." But the series' age agnosticism seems less about providing all-ages entertainment than a refusal to think of these fans as actual people.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Nov 16, 2018
B 83% Creed II (2018) Sometimes the movie feels torn between spare evocations of a boxer's life and crowd-pleasing evocations of past movies. But more often than not, Caple splits the difference with aplomb.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Nov 16, 2018
64% The Way We Were (1973) For a screen romance with huge movie stars, that sentiment feels pretty real.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Nov 14, 2018
B 88% Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018) If the movie never falls into a feedback loop, credit should probably go to Reilly and especially Silverman, who bring human vulnerability to little bits of ultra-branded ones and zeroes. ‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Nov 14, 2018
C+ 63% Outlaw King (2018) For a historical epic that probably looks even better on the big screen, it's oddly well-suited to Netflix: spectacle, yes, but nothing too specific about it.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Nov 10, 2018
C 57% The Grinch (2018) Illumination's focus on cartoon villainy should set it apart. But by this point, the filmmakers have softened the very concept of "bad" into just another bowl of brightly colored sugary mush.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Nov 7, 2018
C 22% Nobody's Fool (2018) [Sumpter] and Haddish make a likable pair, but Perry never quite works them into a functioning comedy team. ‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Nov 2, 2018
88% Adam Sandler: 100% Fresh (2018) Whether he's giving a nuanced performance, standing back at a lazy de facto family reunion, or telling silly jokes on a relatively unadorned stage, Sandler feels like himself-and 100% Fresh is a particularly likable, unfussy iteration.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 26, 2018
C+ 62% Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) Like a lot of depictions of rock music on film, Bohemian Rhapsody lacks both the stylistic daring of a music video and the outright euphoria of a proper musical, but it gets closer to both with the Live Aid sequence.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 23, 2018
C 34% Johnny English Strikes Again (2018) Johnny English Strikes Again might actually come closer to success than its predecessors, if only by default.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 23, 2018
97% The Hate U Give (2018) But at its best, George Tillman Jr.'s film has a gravity and forthrightness missing from so many movies aimed at younger audiences.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Oct 19, 2018
B 76% Mid90s (2018) Mid90s is more than an exercise in refracting the nostalgic radiance of its cultural touchstones. It's something both rougher and more tender, and still a little bit unformed.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 15, 2018
29% Venom (2018) The best supervillains tell us something about ourselves and our heroes. Venom crawls into its hero's head and realizes it has nothing to say.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Oct 11, 2018
B- 61% The Oath (2018) The movie isn't always up to the delicacy of [its] ambitious balancing act, but even the attempt is engaging.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 8, 2018
C 29% Venom (2018) The filmmakers seem faintly aware that not all comic book characters are superheroes, but unsure of what else Venom could actually be.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Oct 3, 2018
61% The Oath (2018) The Oath is a little scattershot and ends with a narrative cop-out, but Haddish comes out of it looking more (to borrow a favorite word of hers) ready for stardom than ever.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Sep 28, 2018
29% Night School (2018) It has all the hallmarks of Hart's films: a convoluted story that goes out of its way to paint Hart as an insecure but hard-working go-getter, bad CG-augmented slapstick, pointless but plot-required deception, and unearned swells of sentimentality.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Sep 28, 2018
C 76% Smallfoot (2018) Smallfoot doesn't always trust the music's ability to move the story along, so the movie proceeds in fits and starts...‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 21, 2018
C+ 88% Love, Gilda (2018) Fair enough if the filmmakers didn't want to pay a fortune in clip licensing or drown their movie in pre-existing material, but seeing Radner's genius reduced to highlight reels isn't exactly revelatory either.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 18, 2018
D 8% Drive Hard (2014) The experience is like watching an unprepared teenager fake his way through different classes at once: briefly fascinating, mostly idiotic.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2018
D- 0% Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas (2014) Preaching aside... Saving Christmas is a shoddy 80-minute feature that contains approximately 50 minutes of actual moving footage.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2018
C+ 32% Poltergeist (2015) Though Rockwell and DeWitt give the material their own likable spin, most of the story mechanics will be familiar to anyone who has seen the original Poltergeist.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2018
C- 12% Dirty Grandpa (2016) Incompetence combined with the occasional burst of disreputable laughter makes Dirty Grandpa oddly lively for a movie that's largely terrible.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2018
B 94% The Mermaid (Mei ren yu) (2016) Arguably Chow's most accessible movie since Hustle.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2018
D 25% The Perfect Match (2016) The Perfect Match looks and sounds increasingly like a romantic comedy created out of secondhand memories, vaguely described or poorly translated.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2018
B- 33% Mechanic: Resurrection (2016) After a season of sagas, revivals, and franchise hubris, the flatness of a Statham sequel inspires its own kind of trash nostalgia.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2018
C+ 25% Army of One (2016) Army Of One doesn't add up to much.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2018
B- 81% Marshall (2017) Marshall isn't so different from a well-made TV movie. But it plays well on the big screen anyway...‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 14, 2018
C 0% The Disappointments Room (2016) Disappointments has the strange confidence of a much slicker, more decisive movie, and all of its sort-ofs don't add up to much. ‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Sep 11, 2018
C 30% Kin (2018) Kin poses more questions than it answers, and they're not the cool, speculative kind.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Aug 28, 2018
93% Support the Girls (2018) Lots of movies like to tell stories about grit, determination, and perseverance. Support the Girls understands, and even finds rueful humor in, the ways those things can still lead to a dead end.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2018
B 92% Searching (2018) As a thriller, Searching is both ruthlessly absorbing in the moment and relatively disposable as soon as it ends, sliding itself gracefully into the desktop recycling bin.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Aug 20, 2018
B- 79% Alpha (2018) This is a summer movie that feels designed to transport a younger audience somewhere, not just drag them along for whatever PG-13 ride has been deemed kid-friendly by default.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Aug 15, 2018
46% The Meg (2018) Director Jon Turteltaub, a longtime hand at live-action Disney movies, doesn't have the ruthlessness required to goose either the suspense or the mayhem of a giant-shark movie. ‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Aug 9, 2018
7% Slender Man (2018) It turns its boogeyman into a generic figure of menace who doesn't feel ready for his moment in the horror movie spotlight.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Aug 9, 2018
D+ 59% Dog Days (2018) It's like watching a number of TV shows running simultaneously.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Aug 7, 2018
C- 49% Like Father (2018) For the most part, it's barely a comedy at all, first by choice and then for other, more disappointing reasons.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Aug 2, 2018
B 86% The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018) This movie may wander, but Akhavan's attention to perfect little moments is unwavering.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Jul 31, 2018
97% Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018) The Mission: Impossible movies are not emotional experiences, but a visceral expression of Cruise's dogged desire to remain an action star. Even with top-notch filmmakers at the helm, he's become the true auteur of this series. ‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Jul 26, 2018
91% Teen Titans Go! To the Movies (2018) The success of these cartoons comes down to a willingness to reinterpret characters with both visual and thematic adventurousness. ‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Jul 26, 2018
C 83% Puzzle (2018) Turtletaub and his screenwriters lay the borderline-anachronistic details of their heroine's oppressive life on so thick that the movie starts to sag.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Jul 24, 2018
B+ 93% Blindspotting (2018) Real-life friends Diggs and Casal must have less of an unstable dynamic than their characters; the two actors wrote Blindspotting together and perform a potentially fraught duet as its leads.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Jul 16, 2018
B- 59% Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018) It's not exactly a Pixar-level examination of complicated family dynamics... But mostly it's a cute, functional story for Tartakovsky to enliven with his style.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Jul 9, 2018
B 93% Sorry to Bother You (2018) Sorry To Bother You is often wildly funny, and if its broad arc is familiar stuff about a down-on-his-luck everyman experiencing success but at what cost, at least the plot specifics are unpredictable by dint of Riley's imagination.‐ AV Club
Read More | Posted Jul 2, 2018
63% Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018) But if making a sequel to Sicario turns distinctive material into another stylish potboiler with an elevated sense of purpose, Sicario 2 at least elevates the craft, especially with the rich blues of Dariusz Wolski's cinematography.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Jun 28, 2018
48% Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) Like his other work, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is not a great movie. But it's a more inventive bit of ridiculousness than its nostalgia-minded predecessor.‐ The Week
Read More | Posted Jun 21, 2018